In every relationship there is a rhythm, a mood or a particular swing. It often seems random, but it has its logic. To live mindfully through each level of love helps us on our path to enlightenment and good health. This is also a pre-requisite for achieving a higher level of being.
Step One – Who are you?
We have fallen head over heels in love with somebody. We build up a future life together in our minds, but we don’t, however, want to overburden that person with our projections, and can do without the inevitable disappointment that entails. We want to appreciate that person honestly, just as they are with an open mind and open attentiveness.
Step Two – Free fall
At the beginning of a relationship, we break down the borders of our personality in order to let the other person in. We experience a chemical phase in which both people physically need each other. We disregard everything. But this phase only lasts for about a year and a half. But this is a good thing, as “normal” life goes on for us. But the experience of falling together is the basis for everything to come.
Step Three – Emotional closeness
The naked body of our partner is intimately familiar to us. Our partner’s soul isn’t. The hurt, the trauma of the past only comes to light gradually. One opens themselves up fully and wants their soul to be touched. But lots of couples fall at this hurdle, as one of the partners shuts themselves off. This moment, however, harbours a wonderful opportunity: to experience each other deeply, thereby opening the door to a powerful force: Love.
Step Four – Peaceful harmony
Where before you had to explain things, one doesn’t need to do this anymore. A feeling is not talked to death, but enjoyed: A visit to a museum; the quiet commonality of feeling during a boring event. One glance is enough. One knows their partner like they know themselves. They feel seen and understood: In peaceful harmony.
Step Five – Freedom
One is seen as a couple and no longer as a person. Automatically, in every situation – even when the other partner isn’t there. From this a desire arises to discover oneself again: to claim freedoms. This is the phase where love needs some breathing space. But there are no guarantees. The relationship can fail at this point, or it becomes more intensive, fresher, more current.
Step Six – Second love
The initial excitement has worn off. Perhaps even boredom sets in. But falling in love again is possible. Couples, who have acquired the ability to do this, say that you can fall in love again multiple times, even every day. Love of this nature is deeper. It is connected with the ability to be attentive to change. Both partners have changed. In this change – along with the knowledge of what has gone before – lies the possibility of a fantastic richness of mature thoughts and newly blossoming drives.
Step Seven – Everything that comes
After the drifting apart of the personalities; after the growing together again; after the companionship over the years: What comes next?
Everyone has to find their own answer to this question. Relationship counsellors say that this phase is the best. Humour and humility help to maintain the balance. It is the recognition that the years that are left, are fewer in number than those that have gone by. The seventh level can also mean the end. The end of the relationship. A new beginning with somebody else or a path to be taken alone. All of these possibilities have one thing in common: Dealing with love in itself: Enlightenment.