Why would anyone want to forgive someone who has wronged them in the past? It could be a partner who was unfaithful, a parent who let you down as a child, or a friend who shared something that you told them in confidence, many people hold grudges and can live for years angry, vengeful and filled with hatred. People get easily trapped in a cycle of anger and hurt and miss out on the beauty of their lives and the world around them.
At some point, we all have to face the question of whether or not to forgive and how.
Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the person who wronged you; it’s something you do for you.
By forgiving, you let go of your grievances and judgements and allow yourself to heal. Forgiveness can change your life.
Forgiveness does not mean erasing the past or forgetting what has happened. It doesn’t even mean the other person will change their behaviour — you can’t control that. All it means is that you are letting go of the built up anger and pain, and moving on to a better place.
Forgiveness can help you overcome feelings of depression, anxiety, and rage, as well as personal and relational conflicts. It is about making the conscious decision to let go of grudges. It is about setting yourself free so that you can move forward in your own life. Forgiveness transforms anger and hurt into healing and peace.
While this may sound good in theory, in practice, forgiveness can sometimes feel impossible.
I would like to share some tricks which helped me to let go and release pain and anger and transform my life into a beautiful journey. It was not quick or easy, but I managed it.
First, I reminded myself that I don’t forgive for them but for me.
- I acknowledged that we are only human and we are allowed to make mistakes. I am not perfect.
- I reminded myself that we are all doing the best we can at any given time.
- I reminded myself how much forgiveness would mean to me if I had made a mistake!
- I gave up on all hope of a better past because the past cannot be changed.
- I tried not to force myself. Everything becomes easier with time.
- I came to this realisation: No one ever gets to the end of their life and thinks, “I wish I stayed angry longer.” They generally say one of three things: “I’m sorry,” “I forgive you,” or “I love you.”
Grant forgiveness when you are ready to let go of the past. Remember, the past can not be changed but the future can. This is the only way to live a happy life.